Tuesday, August 25, 2009
The father is apt to feel particularly left out during the hospital period with his first baby. He helps to get his wife safely to the hospital, where there are dozens of people o take care of her. Then he's really alone, with nothing to do outside of working hours. He can sit in the waiting room with some old magazines and worry about how the labor is going, or he can go to his unbelievably lonely home.
A father should not be surprised if he finds that he has mixed feelings at times toward his wife and toward his baby during all the commotion of the hospital stage and after they are all home again. Most women need a great deal of support and comfort from their husbands at this time. To be able to give a lot to the baby they must receive more than usual. Partly it is practical help - with the care of the baby, with the housework. Even more it is moral support; patience, understanding, appreciation, affection. The father's job may be complicated by the fact that if his wife is tired and upset she won't have the spirit to be charming and appreciative of his efforts. In fact, she may be complaining. But if he realizes how much she needs his help and love, it will encourage him to give it any way.
Friday, August 7, 2009
Most women find that they are more anxious than usual the first few weeks at home. They worry about the baby's crying and fretful spells, suspecting that something is seriously wrong. They worry about every sneeze and every spot of rash. They tiptoe into the baby's room to see whether he is still breathing. It is probably instinctive for mothers to be overly protective at this period. I suppose it is Nature's way of being sure that the millions of new mothers throughout the world, some of whom may be immature and careless. take their new responsibility seriously. A little worrisome might be a good thing for some irresponsible types. But of course it hits hardest the very conscientious ones who need it least. Fortunately it wears off.
Get the guidance from your grand mother. A grandmother can help the mother do a good job by showing her confidence in her and fitting in with her methods as far as posible. This puts the mother in a mood to ask advice when she is in doubt.